Growing up in the world of Fundamentalist Christianity was a unique experience, to say the least. The world around me was painted in black and white, with clear delineations between what was righteous and what was not. While I deeply appreciate the structure and values it instilled in me, I can’t help but reflect on some of the less-discussed, psychological repercussions that come with such a staunch belief system.
Here are five personal revelations about the impact of fundamentalism on my psyche and those around me:
- Cognitive Dissonance: Fundamentalism is a world of absolutes. As I grew older and began to encounter different worldviews, I felt torn. My heart said one thing, but the teachings of my youth said another. This tug-of-war inside my mind often left me feeling lost and confused, always questioning where I truly belonged.
- Anxiety and Fear: I remember nights lying awake, petrified at the thought of eternal damnation or the impending apocalypse. The fear wasn’t just about the hereafter; it was also about the everyday things, like the movies I watched, the music I listened to, or the friends I made outside the church. Every step felt like a potential misstep, leading me away from salvation.
- Limited Critical Thinking: Questioning was akin to rebelling. I was taught to accept, not to inquire. While this made for a straightforward and clear-cut worldview, it also meant that I struggled with critical thinking. Everything was seen through a singular lens, leaving little room for nuance or individual thought.
- Social Isolation: One of the hardest parts was feeling out of place. Our strict belief system often distanced us from ‘outsiders,’ making it challenging to form genuine connections with those who didn’t share our faith. This meant missing out on countless friendships, experiences, and perspectives.
- Depression from Suppressed Self-expression: There were moments when I felt like a bird trapped in a cage. There were so many things I wanted to say, do, and experience. But the weight of doctrine often held me back, leading to bouts of sadness and a feeling of being ‘stuck’.
Yet, with time and reflection, I’ve learned that faith is personal. It’s a journey, not a destination. Today, I strive to strike a balance, cherishing the values that resonate with me while also being open to growth, understanding, and change. It’s essential for us all to remember that faith can be a beautiful guiding force, but it’s the love, compassion, and open-mindedness we show to ourselves and others that truly reflects its spirit.
GPTs-and-Me 